Wandering alone
As people push me
Shove me
This crowd is suffocating me
I feel so lonely
Tired
Sad
Emotionless
I continue on
The mechanics of living get me through
From one sunset to the next
I smile at you
And you smile back
I wonder
Is it a smile of caring
Friendship
Kindness
Love
Or is it one of duty
Obligation
Pity
My tears well
But none will ever see
I keep them inside
The world will never know
Of the sorrow it inflicts upon me
But I will smile for the world
Laugh for the world
Live for the world
But not for me
It has taken any joy of living I once possessed
Give it back
Give me joy
Give me love
Give me reason
Want to live
To laugh
To smile
To be me
But how
Whenever I go back
Whenever I try
You show me joy
Than hide it
Throw sorrow upon me with such force
I know not from where it comes
Nor where it will go
I am lost
Alone
january 26, 2004
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